Your favorite celebrities read "The Night Before Christmas" for Off-Ramp ... "Andy Rooney" doesn't like Christmas ... Marc Haefele pays tribute to author James Salter ... EatLA and Craft Beer ... Judy Chicago treats Frida Kahlo like an artist in her new book ... Life isn't easy as Isaac Haille Selassie ... Black Facts and Wax museum ...

Lamont Dozier on writing "How Sweet It Is," "Stop in the Name of Love," and "Sugarpie, Honeybunch" ... Dinner Party Download ... Downtown Women's Center's New Home ... Van Dyke Parks, American composer ... B'way Deli closes ...

Mt Zion Cemetery, plagued by vandals and neglect ... Jim Beckler, last journalist left from the pressbox the day Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier ... meet Bleached and their three favorite LA LP's ... How "Toilet to Tap" helped kill reforming LA's looming water shortage ... an undiscovered mosaic mural uncovered in Downtown LA.

We go to Dodger Stadium for Opening Day; to imaginary cities with Ben Katchor; to the Weimar Republic with singer Max Raabe; to the stage with Paul Dooley; and to a pet cemetery with Tess Vigeland.

From "I'll be your Huckleberry" to Huck Finn, it's Mark Twain by Val Kilmer ... Valitar, epic show becomes epic fail ... if you think your life is hard, try being gay and undocumented ... put on your traveling face ...

Rabe goes there ... Regardie explains why downtown LA is exploding, but not in a good way ... Kevin goes to the narco-corrido opera ... Robert goes bowling ... and the Getty goes to Koreatown.

Father Boyle versus Mother Church ... Haefele on Haiti ... Mukta Mohan and the Big Picture ... parents find some peace by giving to a police station ...

In Woodland Hills, a fallout shelter stocked with c1960 products ... Shambala, Tippi Hedren's big cat preserve ... Rite of Spring celebration snubs animation ... Dylan Brody on the social network: I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore.

The LA Phil's new season includes a tour of LA ... Kevin Ferguson sweats to the oldies with Richard Simmons ... the first annual Ernest Borgnine Awards ...

Rosemead tiki icon Bahooka to close March 10 ... Oscar PR million$ ... David Dean Bottrell's new show ... Charlie LeDuff gives Detroit a loving autopsy ... Gary Leonard helps Angelenos find their wings ...